Children and Belonging to God

As a child, my dream was to be a wife and a mother.

And I lived out my life demanding it.  It was my top priority and I spent most days pondering it.

After seven years of being unable to conceive, I can now see the error of my ways.

When we’re young we think we have so much control!  But realizing I wasn’t in control didn’t give me any peace, especially while in the midst of dealing with infertility early on.  It was just one of those A-HA! moments that you realize is a fact, but then you’re like, “Yeah? So, what am I supposed to do with that?”.  And then you pout.

Here’s the real epiphany.


It’s one of those things I heard, but didn’t really think about.  Or, better yet, it probably took me years of hearing it before I really began to start to understand it.

It was easy for me think I belonged to God.  Sure, He’s my Father and I’m his daughter.  I fully recognize that there’s a spiritual world, and my connection with it.   I know that my life isn’t contained to my 70 +/- years on this earth.  And the minus side of that can be rather large.

Unsurprisingly, knowing this didn’t stop me from thinking I was entitled to what I wanted in life especially because what I wanted in life were admirable things (namely, being a wife and a mother).

Here’s the thing:  God is our creator.  And since God is the Creator of each and every person, He decides when a person starts their life, where they start their life, and how long their life on earth is.

And every time he creates a person, He creates an infant.  God GIVES that infant to a mother and a father through the process of intercourse.  The man and the woman become a mother and a father through this gift.

I spent most of my life feeling passionately entitled to a gift.  That’s an ugly truth.  It’s more than a little embarrassing, and very much humbling.

So, yes, we belong to God.  Children belong to God.  And I am not entitled to anything.

And acceptance of this realization does bring me peace.  Sure, like a little child I’ll plead with God to bless us with a gift, but letting go of my passionate demand lightens my burden.

If I could go back and give myself some advice, it would be this:  Make it your priority to live out your life however God wants you to live.  If I had lived my life like that, how much happier I would have been.  If we are blessed with the gift of children, I will make sure they know that just because they want it, doesn’t mean it’s what will happen.  You might WANT to be a wife, a husband, a mother, a father…  Take what God gives you.  Living life any other way is like demanding the sun shine purple or for rain to fall up; it’s futile.

You’re better off forming your mind to be in line with God rather than focusing on your own desires, no matter how admirable they may be.


5 thoughts on “Children and Belonging to God

  1. Thanks for sharing this on the IF fb page! Wonderful post! I can relate SO much. While it’s sometimes easier to pout, I think I’ve come around and am starting to see that there’s still a ton of light in my life, despite IF. Now, to focus on that light and live life the way God intended it. I’m still a work in progress. 🙂 Prayers for you on your journey!

  2. This is so beautiful and perfect! I’ve been struggling with this, and what you wrote is so helpful!

  3. I’m very glad it could be helpful. It was actually helpful to me as I reread it today. I had forgotten my epiphany! 🙂

  4. I think older unmarried women can also sympathize with this. 🙂 The toughest part is thinking that if I can’t get married, I at least want to do something meaningful with my life, and not being able to figure out how to do that, either! I guess I need to be patient and listen. 🙂

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