Desolation

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Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. 

Psalm 127:1-5

Here I sit, full of despair, yet so very empty.

Everyday there are reminders that this all-consuming maternal desire has not been granted.  Blood draws monthly, injections four times a month, charting daily, supplements twice a day, medications four times a day.  Not to mention in prayer… Oh, Lord when I read your Word that so clearly reminds me how you bless couples with children–please let my suffering be used for the good of another.  The prayer of the church has brought me so much peace, and yet it has also left me in agony as it brings me so many verses of fruitful mothers.

When will I be at peace with the Will of the Lord?

photo courtesy of Alfonso Avila

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